Funny Quotes About Life

This hub is going to be about funny quotes about life. I want to encourage everyone who is reading this to post their own funny quotes about life in the comments section below. In the meantime I want to post a few of my own funny quotes about life and some funny quotes about life from celebrities or just damn funny people. Some of these funny quotes about life will have names after them, in other words I know who wrote, and some I haven't got a clue who wrote so I just put them  in quotation marks. For instance "Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.” Or "May your life be like toilet paper... long and useful."   I don't know who wrote them but they are good quotes.

So, what makes funny quotes about life? Well obviously for a start it has to be funny, it has to be about some aspect of life (which means it can be about anything really), and it has to be a quote. Who you are quoting is up to yourself, it can even be yourself.

What’s the format of funny quotes about life in the comments?

Look, the funny quotes about life section in the comments below should be about all of the above. They can be about any aspect of your life that you want. I have a broad ranging sense of humor and will include anything that I think has even the smallest element of fun contained within its lines. But please keep it as clean as possible. I'm not going to allow any foul language, so no words that end in …itch, …cing,  uck, or it.  I've also used two comments boxes, the first one is for all the funny quotes about life that you have, and the second one is for comments either on this article or on the other funny quotes about life comments. "Life is the only thing you can't get out of alive."

Everyone's got a good story to tell like Jack Roberts from Michigan who tells of a big family Christmas dinner when the conversation was revolving around family pets. Jack joined in the conversation by telling everyone about his goldfish that lived for over 17 years. Because Jack was a grown man at this stage and needed to know the truth, and everyone was a bit tipsy from the few bottles of wine consumed, Mom decided to spill the beans.  "Ah, your goldfish Jack, we had to buy a new one every time we came home from our vacation".

Sometimes life is just like that. I remember a couple years ago when I was just walking down the main street in the town where I live.  It was before I quit smoking. I had a packet of cigarettes but no way of lighting them. Really needing a cigarette I asked the first person who walked by me who happened to be a beautiful young girl. Before I could even get the words "could I trouble you for a light" out of my mouth, she stuck her nose up in the air and said "I already have a boyfriend". She turned her head the other way and walked on. Now I had an insecurity problem as well is no light for my cigarette. And the irony is that now I needed that cigarette more than anything.

“God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.” “We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.” “Politics: “Poli” a Latin word meaning “many”; and "tics" meaning “bloodsucking creatures”. Robin Williams
 

 “Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.” “Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think -- in a deeper voice.” “People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on.” Bill Cosby

"In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows." "There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?" "I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me." Woody Allen

"Yesterday, John McCain actually said that if he's president that he'll take on, and I quote, 'the old boys network in Washington.' Now I'm not making this up. This is somebody who's been in Congress for twenty-six years, who put seven of the most powerful Washington lobbyists in charge of his campaign. And now he tells us that he's the one who's gonna' to take on the old boys network. The old boys network? In the McCain campaign that's called a staff meeting. Come, on!"